Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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