did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize