i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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