I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
