We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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