the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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