Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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