I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
