when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
