Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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