we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize