I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
