Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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