Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
