she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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