I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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