I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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