I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize