White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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