btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize