Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
