were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize