hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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