New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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