I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
