when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
