im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
