If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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