I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
