Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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