so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
