He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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