no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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