Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
