I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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