I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
