He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize