Already got asked if we're dating
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize