i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just want nice things and good sex
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
