ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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