i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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