I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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