youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
