i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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