I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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