i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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