Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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