i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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