Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I forget how to act sober
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize