Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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