the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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