i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just made my gag reflex go away.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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