I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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