Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
