careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
