I wannas sexs uuuuu
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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