DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
